Trumpet players seldom admit to failure mainly because of their inflated egos. It truly takes a big man to actually admit to an occasional faux pas on their instrument. So to lighten my soul and get it out in the open, I will share with the world my two worst performances in hopes that other such suffers can emerge from their own closet and admit their shortcomings.
Worst Performance #1
While teaching at the University of Northern Iowa, the faculty was expected, from time to time, to perform a solo recital. Early in my tenure there I agreed to fill my obligation and signed up to perform the Hayden Trumpet Concerto. I had performed this particular number on several occasions and felt very confident that my rendition would be spoken of for many years. Thinking back on the actual performance, I realize that that might have been the case for the actual performance was a disaster!
My recital was scheduled for an evening performance and I had spent many hours polishing and honing every note and phrase of this well-known piece. I was confident that this would be one of the best if not the very best interpretation of this well-known trumpet solo of all times.
During the week of the aforementioned recital, I was performing in a make shift band shell in the middle of Iowa with a polka band. This wonderful engagement was for the Iowa Farm Progress Show and the three days I participated in the festivities never got above 32 degrees.
Performing polkas in the open with temperatures almost up to freezing and wind chills even colder seems like a bad idea now that I think back on it. But at that time in my career, I was very conscious of bills and financial security which blinded me from seeing the impending disaster.
After those brutal days performing at the Farm Progress Show in the middle of winter, in the Ford tractor pavilion (make shift band shell), in a huge fur parka with gloves and hand warmer, my face looked like the Abominable Snowman. Ice continued to form on my beard and playing any note softer than a FFF was completely impossible. In between numbers the mouthpiece was stored in my Hand warmer pocket to keep it from freezing to my lip. Only one word can accurately describe these condition- BRUTAL!
Upon returning to campus after my last show, I realized I was in trouble. I had four hours to prepare for my wonderful recital and every minute of that time was spent playing pedal tones as soft as possible.
As I proceeded to the stage to completely decimate my reputation, I remember visiting with my good friend Don Little who was also on the program. I shared my concern and we both had a great laugh over my situation. There is nothing more supporting than to have a fellow musician stand there and laugh with you at the inevitable.
The time had come and to describe what happened would be too depressing for anyone to hear. Notes didn’t speak, dynamics raged from F to FFF, even in the middle movement and the cadenza were too painful to describe.
The truth of my performance may be a little better than I have described, but not much. After that terrible performance, I vowed that that would never happen again. Unfortunately that now brings us to the ultimate embarrassing moment of my life.
Worst Performance #2
If this sounds a little like the same conditions as the first implosion, you are correct.
This time it involved our Faculty Brass Quartet. This ensemble used to be very active in Iowa with regular Friday recruiting concerts throughout the state. I remember one year we performed fifty-two concerts. These outing were to almost every high school in the state and the hours we spent traveling in the University’s station wagon were some of the best times in my life. At that time, we were all great friends and egos never got in the way of a good time. Enough about that.
This particular concert was to take place at Coe College in Cedar Rapids Iowa. Another good friend and great trumpet player, Dr. Paul Smoker had booked us on one of their concert series. It was a very big deal!
Now this is where you say, what were you thinking?
The day before the Coe College concert I spent the day out in the fields of Iowa, again in unpleasant conditions and temperatures (cold temperatures, wind, sleet and rain seems normal to Iowa when I think back). This time I was involved with hunting dog field trials. My wonderful German Shorthair was in a puppy class and barely got beat out for first place by an ugly, stupid Weimaraner. You might be interested in my dogs name because of the musical importance. Her name was Dallas von Bachentoven. Now how is that for a name?
While driving from Cedar Falls to Cedar Rapids, I mentioned that my lips were a little dry and as a good friend should the other trumpet player offered his new and wonderful lip balm called Sea and Sky. What could a little Sea and Sky do to me? Well by the time we arrived at the college, my lips felt twice the size I remembered. I had a reaction to the lip balm and things continued to worsen. While warming up, I could hardly get a note out. We entered the stage to a rousing ovation of several dozen concert goers and I knew I was in trouble, again!
We were barely able to get through half of the first number when I raised my hand a stated, “I’m done”. There is no way I could explain how I felt at that moment. This concert was booked by a very good friend who had spent untold hours setting it up for us. Our quintet had spent the past month preparing our program and was to be paid a very nice sum for our performance, which we did not get. And to top this horrible experience, they planned and executed a reception for us even though we hadn’t given them a concert.
The return trip to our campus after a wonderful reception can only be described as traveling through a black hole with ear plugs on.
That was without a doubt the most painful afternoon in my musical career.
So, those are my stories and I’m sticking to it.
